It’s bedtime when I make the discovery. My oldest son is already tucked under the covers, reading the Almanac, while I’m going through his drawers to pick out clothes for the next day. I know I should let him take this task over, but for some strange reason, I enjoy it. Besides, I’ll pretty much do anything to make our morning routine a little less hectic. Knowing that my children have mom-approved outfits ready to go helps me sleep a little bit better. “Mom, come look at this. They have Hanukkah down as one of the major Jewish holidays, even though it isn’t,” my son says. I peek over at the Almanac to see what he’s talking about, and indeed, Hanukkah is included among the heavy hitters: Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur. This being the Almanac, the list contains a calendar for each holiday over the next four years. And that’s when I see it. The date smacks me in the face, startling me and stinging me like a stubbed toe. I stare at the page, but the words don’t change. They … [Read more...]
Counting Down To 40…
Since the children were very little, it’s always been our fall ritual to go apple picking with our friends the Feinbergs. He and my husband were groomsmen for one another in our weddings, and we've known each other's kids since birth. The outing is now a part of our traditions together, another piece of fabric sewn into the quilt of our friendship. We load up the minivans and head to Wisconsin for some hay rides and tree climbing in the orchards. With each passing year, the kids become more independent, better able to navigate their way amidst the trees and pick the best apples offered. They used to require a boost to reach the upper branches. Now we watch them scurry up on their own. Tasting the fresh fruit and feeling the juices run down our chins, signals the arrival of this most beautiful season, just as much as watching the leaves change and seeing the pumpkins arrive on doorsteps. This year, when I call my friend to find a date, we both quickly become dismayed as we tick … [Read more...]
What I’ll Miss About This Summer…
For the first time in years, maybe ever, I found myself this summer with time to spare. Perhaps "to spare" is too generous. Rather, I found myself with time I could carve out in ways that I desired, instead of ways that were dictated to me by my work, my children, my parents, depending on the stage of life. This rare and exciting gift didn’t happen by accident. I crafted the situation. After Mr. C headed off to overnight camp, which you can read all about here and here, I decided to sign up my littlest guy, Mr.B, for five days a week of full time summer camp. He already had been going three days a week the first part of the summer, and Mr. B had done well at camp thus far. So I decided a little more consistency would do me him good. Second session began, and off he went, getting onto the bus every morning with his older sisters around 8:40 a.m., and then returning home with them on the bus every afternoon a little after 4 p.m. That gave this mama more than seven hours all to … [Read more...]
Laughingly Ever After: A Love Story
When he first calls me to ask about getting together, I'm not sure if he wants to renew our friendship or take me out on a date. A couple of mutual friends dropped hints to me about him, and I'd enjoyed seeing him a couple weeks prior. That was our first meeting in more than six years, and those years have been kind to him. He no longer wears aviator glasses or has braces covering his teeth. His once lanky physique is now muscular. He was with another woman that night, but she and I shared a cab ride across town to our apartments, so I have to figure there's nothing going on between them. I accept his request to meet for dinner and afterward I realize it is in fact a date. Nothing happens between us that night to confirm my suspicion that his intentions are indeed romantic, but we women can sense these things. On Christmas Eve, I call to thank him for our lovely evening and tell him we can connect again when I return from vacation. During that vacation, my extended family rejoices … [Read more...]
What I Wish I Knew Before Overnight Camp Began…
My husband is an organized, productive person. He’s a list maker. I’ve watched him over the years, writing down all the various things he needs to get done. He makes little boxes next to each item, which he checks off once he completes the task. I’ve always been in awe, and I admit, a little intimidated by his lists. I find myself on the opposite end of the spectrum, preferring to go through my days getting things done as they arise, planning it out in my mind and going from there. But as life has become more hectic, I’ve developed a newfound appreciation for the list. In the notes app of my iPhone, I now keep an ever changing “To Do” list. I guess you could call me a list convert of sorts, which came in handy while preparing to send C off to camp. Getting him ready required a whole new genre of list making. There was the packing list provided by the camp that was extremely helpful. This list gave birth to a Target list of the various clothing items, toiletries, water … [Read more...]
All His Bags are Packed. But I’m Not Ready for Him to Go
"All my Bags are Packed and I'm ready to go..." The words from "Leaving on a Jet Plane" circle through my mind as I muddle through my daily tasks in these hours leading up to Mr. C's departure. That song is what I sang as a kid getting ready to leave overnight camp and head back home from the woods. Now I softly sing the tune to myself as a parent on the other side, getting ready to send my child from home to the trees, the lake and the open sky. Here come my tears. Again. After spending the initial part of the summer trying to keep my 10-year-old firstborn child happy, engaged and fulfilled, I'm now in disbelief that he really is leaving for overnight camp. So many questions race through my mind as I check the boxes off on his packing list: Will he be happy? Will he be homesick? Will he be both? How much will I miss him? A lot. I know that. How will it affect our family dynamic? Keep trying to imagine it, but just not sure. Will he write to … [Read more...]
From Fourteen to Forty…
The little town with the lake house sits sandwiched between the suburbs where we all live and a resort town in the state next door. We are invited up for the day with our kids. No husbands, please. Our hostess tells me it's a celebration of sorts to mark the culmination of that period between school ending and camp beginning. I call this period "purgatory," as I’m not sure whether to relish or lament the lack of schedule. It depends on the day, the hour, the minute. But this day we’ve had on the calendar for a while, and I’ve been looking forward to spending time with some of my oldest and dearest friends. My guess is in high school, some people saw us as a clique. We ate lunch together. We congregated together in that intimidating, insecure way teenagers congregate. We always ended up together on the weekends, even if we started the night separately. We took photographs together with our dates before school dances. For graduation, we organized a big dinner with our families; then … [Read more...]
Using His Force
My fourth child celebrated his fourth birthday last weekend. It’s the perfect year for this light saber wielding, Darth Vader fearing, Yoda loving child to be turning four. We’ve already watched all six episodes that comprise the current Star Wars series, and we’re counting down the days until The Force Awakens hits theaters. The theme for his party: “May B’s fourth be with you” was an obvious choice for this kid who loves everything that hails from a galaxy far, far away. Sometimes I wonder if Mr. B actually thinks “the force” is real. We’ll be at breakfast, he’ll be bantering with his older siblings, and all of a sudden he’ll hold his hand up as if to halt them in their tracks. It’s a sight to behold, watching this preschooler try to stop a second grader with just his hand. I hate to dispel Mr. B's notion that “the force” is real, especially since my own little dude possesses a force of his own. *** "Mommy is it my turn?" Mr. B asks. He's up on the exam table at the doctor's … [Read more...]
For My Friend on What Should Be Her 40th Birthday
Ten years ago today, my due date with my first child coincides with Mera's 30th birthday. When I call Mera to send my best wishes and good cheer, I tell her I’m not sure if I can make it to the special steak dinner at Angelo and Maxie’s later that night. She understands because that is just like her to understand a circumstance she herself has yet to experience. Mera’s that good of a friend. I spend the day reclining on my couch, my legs splayed out in front of me, my burgeoning belly contracting and then stopping. Only 5% of women actually deliver on their due date, yet for some reason I figure I will be among them. As the hours tick by, I go from bored to mildly depressed that nothing is happening. To distract myself, I think about Mera’s birthday dinner and debate whether to go. Yes, I’m very pregnant and uncomfortable, but it is her 30th birthday, a milestone for sure, and one that carries even more weight because of her secret. It’s a secret that only a few of us know: Mera … [Read more...]
All Choked Up at Checkout
When my youngest, Mr. B, finished potty training, I couldn’t wait to purge my house of all things diaper. As my caboose, Mr. B’s completion of this toddler rite of passage marked the first time in more than nine years when I would not need to purchase diapers during my weekly outings to Target. I remember the first time after Mr. B’s potty training that I barreled down the brightly lit linoleum floors, the excitement building as he and I approached the aisle where the Pampers and Huggies live. But as we came closer, I couldn’t help myself. I slowed down. I didn’t make a full stop or even turn in, but I reduced my pace enough so I could steal a glance of the purple, yellow and turquoise packages in all their shapes and sizes. As I passed the boxes of diapers by, I breathed in and I breathed out. Then I smiled. I turned to Mr. B who was sitting in the cart in front of me and said, “We don’t need those diapers anymore!” His smile beamed back at me proudly. While my girls completed … [Read more...]
