Hello People! It's been several months since I last posted, and if my blog really were my fifth child, as I've referred to it, I would rightfully have had social services banging on my door with neglect charges. Thankfully, there's no blog police, but I do have to answer to myself, and I've really missed this space. So today I'm back, and I'm hoping to not take such a long hiatus again. Going forward, I plan to post on a semi-regular basis without putting undue pressure on myself to constantly post. I have other writing goals for myself this coming school year, now that all of my babes are in the same building for seven and a half hours a day. I wasn't expecting the deer in headlights feeling that came with having my youngest go off to kindergarten. Last week, after dropping him off for his first full day, I felt like I wasn't quite sure how to move forward without a little one in tow. But this week provides me with the perfect excuse to put myself out there once again and reconnect … [Read more...]
“Mothering Through the Darkness: Women Open Up About the Postpartum Experience,” edited by Jessica Smock & Stephanie Sprenger
I remember being a new mother, holding my baby, tears springing from my eyes. My cousin told me I had the baby blues. The overwhelming feeling passed quickly, and I was able to return to mothering my newborn without (my) crying. (The baby cried plenty). Still, that feeling of being trapped and overcome with the enormity of motherhood lingered during those first three months of my son’s life. At my six-week post partum check-up, my doctor questioned me in a way that I could tell was a screening for postpartum depression (PPD). My answers were honest, but they didn’t qualify me as someone experiencing PPD. And yet, reading the essays in "Mothering Through the Darkness," I encountered stories that resonated with me and brought me back to those difficult days as a new mother. Looking back, I think my doctor was correct to not diagnose me with PPD. My “baby blues” were short lived. But I do wish I had a book like "Mothering Through the Darkness" at my disposal to help me better … [Read more...]
Up on Kveller: How My Daughter’s Birth Brought Me Back to Halloween
Toward the end of my second pregnancy, my doctor offered to make things easy on me and schedule an induction. “Wait. Make it easy? I thought inductions were a prescription for a C-section. I was able to push my son out in 40 minutes the first time. Why would I want to set myself up for failure the second time?” I asked, with my legs in the stirrups as he examined me. I’m always amazed by how easily I chit chat during these moments. To read what happened next with my Halloween birth head over to Kveller. … [Read more...]
The Princess & the Playground
“Remind me again, the name of the princess you were for your fourth birthday? You know, Sleeping Beauty? What’s her actual name?” I’m reminisicing with Miss J before bedtime one night. Her birthday is coming up, and since it coincides with Halloween, she gets to pick any costume she wants. Miss J turns nine this year, and I can’t believe it’s been five years since princess was everything her heart desired. “Aurora?” she half asks, half tells me. I’m not sure if she’s incredulous that I can’t remember the Disney character or just being matter of fact. Maybe a little bit of both? After all, tweendom is on the horizon, and the antics have already begun. “Oh, yes. Aurora. Remember when you dressed up like her for your party?” It was the first birthday party we held for her in our new suburban house. I was excited to finally have the proper space for her whole preschool class plus other friends and family. We rented little mini tables for the kids, painted pumpkins and had a … [Read more...]
Counting Down To 40…
Since the children were very little, it’s always been our fall ritual to go apple picking with our friends the Feinbergs. He and my husband were groomsmen for one another in our weddings, and we've known each other's kids since birth. The outing is now a part of our traditions together, another piece of fabric sewn into the quilt of our friendship. We load up the minivans and head to Wisconsin for some hay rides and tree climbing in the orchards. With each passing year, the kids become more independent, better able to navigate their way amidst the trees and pick the best apples offered. They used to require a boost to reach the upper branches. Now we watch them scurry up on their own. Tasting the fresh fruit and feeling the juices run down our chins, signals the arrival of this most beautiful season, just as much as watching the leaves change and seeing the pumpkins arrive on doorsteps. This year, when I call my friend to find a date, we both quickly become dismayed as we tick … [Read more...]
What I Wish I Knew Before Overnight Camp Began…
My husband is an organized, productive person. He’s a list maker. I’ve watched him over the years, writing down all the various things he needs to get done. He makes little boxes next to each item, which he checks off once he completes the task. I’ve always been in awe, and I admit, a little intimidated by his lists. I find myself on the opposite end of the spectrum, preferring to go through my days getting things done as they arise, planning it out in my mind and going from there. But as life has become more hectic, I’ve developed a newfound appreciation for the list. In the notes app of my iPhone, I now keep an ever changing “To Do” list. I guess you could call me a list convert of sorts, which came in handy while preparing to send C off to camp. Getting him ready required a whole new genre of list making. There was the packing list provided by the camp that was extremely helpful. This list gave birth to a Target list of the various clothing items, toiletries, water … [Read more...]
All Choked Up at Checkout
When my youngest, Mr. B, finished potty training, I couldn’t wait to purge my house of all things diaper. As my caboose, Mr. B’s completion of this toddler rite of passage marked the first time in more than nine years when I would not need to purchase diapers during my weekly outings to Target. I remember the first time after Mr. B’s potty training that I barreled down the brightly lit linoleum floors, the excitement building as he and I approached the aisle where the Pampers and Huggies live. But as we came closer, I couldn’t help myself. I slowed down. I didn’t make a full stop or even turn in, but I reduced my pace enough so I could steal a glance of the purple, yellow and turquoise packages in all their shapes and sizes. As I passed the boxes of diapers by, I breathed in and I breathed out. Then I smiled. I turned to Mr. B who was sitting in the cart in front of me and said, “We don’t need those diapers anymore!” His smile beamed back at me proudly. While my girls completed … [Read more...]
