Every Mama’s Wish: Thumb’s Up!
My husband is an organized, productive person. He’s a list maker. I’ve watched him over the years, writing down all the various things he needs to get done. He makes little boxes next to each item, which he checks off once he completes the task. I’ve always been in awe, and I admit, a little intimidated by his lists. I find myself on the opposite end of the spectrum, preferring to go through my days getting things done as they arise, planning it out in my mind and going from there. But as life has become more hectic, I’ve developed a newfound appreciation for the list. In the notes app of my iPhone, I now keep an ever changing “To Do” list. I guess you could call me a list convert of sorts, which came in handy while preparing to send C off to camp.
Getting him ready required a whole new genre of list making. There was the packing list provided by the camp that was extremely helpful. This list gave birth to a Target list of the various clothing items, toiletries, water bottles and sunscreen that he would need. And then of course there was the camping store list for the random things that just could not be purchased anywhere else, in spite of my attempts to do one stop shopping at Target. But there’s one list no one provided to me as I embarked on my journey of being a mom with a child at overnight camp. It’s the list that could tell me what it’s actually like to have a child away from home for the first time. After two weeks of C being there, I certainly wouldn’t call myself an expert. But I have come up with my own little list of all the things I wish I knew before sending him off to sleep away camp.
- I wish I knew that the daily photos the camp posts would become an obsession. They don’t upload until after 11 p.m., but that’s not an issue for this night owl. Analyzing them has taken on a life of its own. I stare at the pictures of him, examining pixel by pixel to see if he’s wearing his own clothes, if he’s changed his clothes the next day (yes!), if he looks happy, who he’s with, and if it looks like he’s actually participating in the activity at hand.
- I wish I knew that those same photos I obsess over also should not be taken too seriously. They’re only snapshots after all. A parent with older campers recently described them to me as just a moment in time without all the context. And so there might be a day where C isn’t in any photos; or a day when he’s the only one not making a silly face, even though all his bunkmates are sticking out their tongues and crossing their eyes. It’s taken some fretting sessions on my part, but I now realize these situations don’t mean that he’s miserable. The camp will notify me if that’s the case. So far, so good.
- Letters home: I wish I knew how to get more details from the sparse lines he writes to us. What exactly do his words mean? One letter starts this way: Dear Mom, I had a terrible shower experience. Here are my activities… Wait. Back up. Define terrible shower experience. Too cold? A massive shampoo spill? Did someone bother him? Right after reading this letter, I dash off an e-mail to C to try to get quick answers. The camp prints and distributes e-mails daily, so I know he saw my questions. Yet that was days ago, and I’m still here wondering exactly what happened.
- I wish I knew how he was going to spend his down time since he’s not allowed to have screens at camp. I love that policy. But it turns out now instead of filling his free time with Minecraft, he’s using it to play Blackjack. For gum. Hmm… Which poison to pick: Video games or gambling? At least Blackjack involves math.
- I wish I knew how much I was going to miss C. Of course I figured that would happen going into this whole ordeal. Check out last week’s post for all those details. But I didn’t understand certain times would be more intense than others, and I wouldn’t be able to anticipate them. The one relief from that longing has been sharing those feelings with my husband. We seem to be simpatico with the tougher bouts of missing C. Our syncing provides comfort for me and a new kind of bonding for us. I’m grateful for that.
- I wish I knew that while summer flies by when you are a kid at camp, it only seems to mosey when it’s your kid who is away. In certain ways these past two weeks have gone quickly. On the other hand, I can’t believe C’s only been away for two weeks! It feels like so much more! Even his six-year-old sister agrees. She says it feels like at least 12 weeks have gone by since he left for camp.
- I wish I knew how my other kids would react to their older brother being away. People ask me if having three kids is indeed simpler than four. Truthfully? Not really. I’ve managed to put all three who are home on the same schedule during the day, so that does make things more manageable. But when we’re all gathered together inside the house, it still feels as hectic as ever. Maybe even more so.
- I wish I knew how calming C’s presence can be. He’s easy going in general, and he loves music. That combination makes for a winning DJ. Whenever life around here gets to be at too high or too low a decibel level, he cranks up the tunes. They seem to have a calming or energizing effect, depending on the situation. We’ve needed more music these past couple of weeks.
- I wish I knew how much I miss peanut butter. OK, that one’s self serving, I confess. C is my kid with a peanut allergy, and since he’s the oldest, we haven’t had peanut butter in the house for years. Because of how allergic he is, I myself pretty much avoid it all together when he’s home. But this summer I’ve been inhaling all things peanut whenever possible, and I admit to savoring every morsel.
- I wish I knew that planning for the fall with a child at overnight camp makes that whole scheduling thing even more daunting. While C and I discussed activities before he left, the pictures show him doing new things at camp all the time. Will his interests have changed by the time he comes home? Then again, isn’t camp all about trying new things? It doesn’t mean he’s going to want to do them here. I guess I can go ahead and make his schedule according to last year’s activities. This isn’t camp after all. But I bet he’ll come home wishing that it was.
Catch of the Day!
This is a Finish the Sentence Friday post, inspired by the prompt, “I Wish I Knew…” Hosted by Kristi from Finding Ninee, and co-hosted by Mardra from Mardra Sikora and Jill from Ripped Jeans and Bifocals.
Great list. And I like how you start the list by talking a little about lists 🙂
Thanks Christine! It was so great meeting you and getting to talk with you about this post before it went up! xo
Two weeks is a long time. My son went away for a week back in the day and that was not quite long enough. Ha! But they didn’t offer the photo option. I’d have been just like you, I know. And what’s with the 11:00 posting? Golly – I’d be up until 03:00 perusing those pics, I know for sure. Was the Catch of the Day a camp photo or one from last year? It’s great.
Thank you Kelly! He has two more weeks to go, but I know he’s having fun and having new experiences so there’s that. Catch of the Day is a camp photo. I think it’s been one of C’s wishes to catch a fish, so I’m glad he got to do it at camp! 🙂
I’m so glad you wrote and linked up, Mimi! And OMG Tucker’s allergic to peanuts, too. Anyway, with that out of the way, I wanted to say that I went to summer camp all through childhood. It started as one-week, then two, and when I was maybe 11 years old (?), it was for five weeks and I had the most amazing time. I did miss my family and friends a lot but it was so so much fun. Truly big fun. I’m wondering what C’s bad shower experience was though so please let me know when he tells you! Also LOL to at least Blackjack involves math. True that.
Thanks Kristi for being here and your kind words. I know he is having fun, and I do believe overnight camp if possible is a wonderful time to grow and learn in ways so different than at home. I will definitely let you know when I find out about that shower experience! 🙂
I’ve never sent my kids to overnight camp! I don’t think I could do it. I don’t know why? The peanut butter thing is funny – we never know how much we love something till it’s gone, right:)?
Hi Allie! Was just talking about you with my daughter tonight and saying how much I miss you! Can’t wait to catch up on the rest of your summer adventures! So true about the peanut butter! And I understand feeling like not being able to send your kids away. It’s been a bigger transition for me than I anticipated. Your kids get to see the world and learn so much from those travels! It’s all just a matter of how our kids experience the world outside of home, right? Thanks for being here with me. xo
I sympathize with your summer camp learning. This is the first summer that both boys went away to sleep away camp. It’s something that I did only once growing up (I just didn’t find it that exciting, so I suppose that my parents decided to save the money). So this summer the house was very quiet, and we spent a lot of time missing the boys. They’re back now, and filling the house with noise and other “events”. I still recognize that camp was a growth experience for both of them. I’m hoping that when C gets back he’ll feel the same positive thoughts about camp that my boys feel!
Thanks Anna! I appreciate your sharing your experience about having your boys away. Two friends happened to be up at camp today, and both texted me nice reports on how C is doing. One told me he said to tell me he’s having fun! So I’ll take that! I hear the kids change a little while they’re away. It will be interesting to hear about his adventures once he’s home. Hope you are enjoying the return to tumult with your boys! 🙂
Nice post Mimi. I’ve never sent my kids to overnight camp, but I sure can relate to searching the pictures for clues. They each take a week outdoor adventure trip in the 6th grade with their class., and the pictures are posted on Twitter. And yes, I comb them like a made woman for even the tiniest spec of my kid. Last week, my son went to Cooperstown with his baseball team and there was a team photo posted all over Facebook, and he was the only one not in it! It drove me crazy wanting to know why! where was he? did he have to run to the bathroom? was he sick? was he lost? My husband was out there, too, and he wasn’t returning my texts. I was texting other Moms who were out there. Finally somebody got back to me. I guess my husband had taken him out for a special dad/son dinner that evening. Whew. My moment of neurosis was calmed. You must miss you son so much!!!
Thanks Julie! Your story had me laughing! I totally get how you were feeling! Gotta love that he was with your husband the whole time! I do miss my so son a lot, more than I anticipated. But today two friends who were up at camp and saw him texted me back good reports, so for that I’m grateful. I’m hoping for another letter home soon. 🙂 Thanks for joining me here!
The energy is so different in the house when one is gone. My oldest was in Israel for two weeks, home for a bit, then at camp for three weeks. Was so weird! And this weeks the girls are visiting a relative and so we just have the boys. It’s VERY weird! (And yeah, the camp pictures and letters . . . something to get used to.)
So true about the energy being different! What’s it like with just your oldest and youngest? I loved some of the photos you posted of your son being away. And I heard your daughter became friends with one of my daughter’s friends during her little stint at camp. So great!! 🙂 Hope you and I get to see each other soon! So true, btw, about the photos and letters. Thank goodness the photos and camp post regularly with details of what’s going on, as it’s been almost a week since our last letter. Not that we’re keeping track! 😉 Thanks for visiting me here, Nina!
2 weeks is a really long time. My daughter went to 5 and 7 day camps years ago before all of the internet bells and whistles were used to keep track of the campers….it was hard. My two youngest will be old enough next year…I have mixed feelings on whether they should go. I have a little time to think it over…
Yes, he’s been away two weeks, and still has almost another two weeks to go! But today a couple of friends who were up there saw him and gave me good reports, so for that I’m grateful. I understand your mixed feelings over whether to send your boys next year. Even though it’s hard on me, I know it’s a wonderful growing and learning experience for him. I have friends who embrace the happiness their kids get from camp and don’t miss them as much because they are so excited for them. I’m trying to figure out how I can rewire myself for their take on it! 🙂 Thanks for being here with me, Jill!
Ah yes – overnight camp. I didn’t ever go as a kid, so I don’t know how exciting and nervous I would have been – but I know I was A WRECK the first time my son went to camp, He didn’t seem nervous at all, btw.
Such a bittersweet list. I hope you print and save this with the photo’s – you may want to compare notes someday if he has a family. 🙂
What a wonderful idea to print and save with the photos. Thanks for that Mardra! And thank you for commiserating with me about the challenges of watching our children go off to camp.
He’ll be home soon Mama! I was glad to read your post because it made me feel better about how I felt when my son was away at Boy Scout camp for a week. I was surprised by how much I missed him and how hard it was not to be able to communicate with him. I think it was good preparation for the inevitable: going away to college and growing into an adult! But I cherish him more since he’s been home.
Thanks Katy! I find hearing from other moms about their feelings of sending kids off to camp is so helpful too. Thanks for being here with me!
I miss my kids much more when they are away from home than when I am away from home. Seeing their empty rooms makes me sad, even though I know they are having fun and will be home soon. I’m not sure how I’m going to handle my oldest going off to college next year, though!
Enjoy all things peanut while you can, Mimi. 🙂
Thanks Dana! College is a whole other genre of kids going away. I feel like overnight camp is just one small tiny step to prepare us parents. My peanut eating is coming to an end this week, but I’m excited for him to come home and hear all about his new experiences! 🙂
Great post! I definitely miss mine, when he goes to camp each summer, but I know he has a blast and enjoys the friends he makes and gets to see each year. It is also rough on his lil sis, who misses him so much, that she camps in his room until he comes home! Have a great week!
Thanks Stacey! So cute about your daughter camping out in her brother’s room. Love that! Us parents miss our kids when they are away, but I think it’s an adjustment for the siblings too, no matter what they might say. 🙂
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