From Generation…
To Generation
Exactly when the tradition started remains unclear. But sometime in the late 1960’s, my extended family began gathering yearly in Miami, Florida. At the time, our numbers were small: My grandparents, my aunt and uncle and their two children, my uncle and my dad. Years passed, more weddings, more babies, and by the late 1980s, our grand total hit the 20 people mark.
In those days, my grandparents’ Miami apartment served as home base for our annual trek. They were “snowbirds,” those lucky people who head to warmer climates for the winter months. Part of our crew hailed from Texas, but the rest of us were Chicagoans, so we understood our grandparents’ choice to escape the cold temperatures. Still, as a close clan, it was imperative that we not let the whole six months pass without seeing one another.
Miami Circa 1970-Something
We grandchildren numbered 11, and while our grandparents’ apartment was spacious, it was arranged for their lifestyle as a couple living without children. During the two weeks of our visit, they broke out cots and random mattresses, including one from the balcony furniture. Younger children, those under 10, were relegated to the den, which had doors to close. It was a rite of passage to get to sleep in the open living room. I remember when my cousin and I graduated to sleeping there with her older siblings. We were over the moon excited because this meant we got to stay up later, playing games, doing puzzles, watching movies. The activity didn’t matter. All that mattered was being included as a “big kid”.
Membership has its privileges, but it can have a price too. Sleeping in the living room also meant being woken up in the early hours by our beloved grandparents. Every morning, without fail, my grandfather would turn on the juicer and start squeezing the oranges. I can still hear the whirring that roused me from my slumber. My grandmother would then admonish my grandpa for all the noise: “Ben! Ben! You’ll wake the children!” To this day I’m unsure which was louder, her yelling or his juicing.
But I still loved those vacations, in spite of sleeping on top of each other and waking up way earlier than my pre-teen-self wanted. I loved them because they meant going to a place where I felt safe, surrounded by nearly all of the people in my life who loved me most in the world, making memories and engaging in activities we couldn’t do together in our real lives.
Doctors diagnosed my grandfather with Alzheimer’s when I was in seventh grade. His illness changed our annual trips to Florida, but we kept going. It became too difficult for all of us to stay with my grandparents, so we started renting condos down the street from them. This model is the one we continue to follow to this day, though I admit there have been times when I feared our tradition was breaking.
A few years ago, after my uncle passed away, the trip started to feel fragile and uninspired. It seemed that our annual vacation was heading south, and I don’t mean to Florida. My extended family has never been a group that loves change, but sometimes a little rerouting is all that’s needed to stay the course. A slight generational shift in decision making, a small relaxation of the unwritten, but understood rules, and we are now back on track.
Today you can find us on Florida’s west coast. We returned to Miami one other time, but something didn’t feel quite right. We need to continue the tradition, but we need to do it a little differently for this new generation. The urban setting of Miami Beach no longer fits our mold. Instead we take condos that are part of a larger resort. Each individual family has its own space, but we still come together at the pool and for meals. If every member of my extended family joined, there would be 47 of us. We came darn close to reaching that number this year. Forty-four of us travelled to ring in 2016 together.
***
The mornings right after we return are more hectic than usual. Getting up and out of the house is always an ordeal for us, but it’s especially so during re-entry week, those days immediately following a vacation. As I scramble to make lunches and feed the kids breakfast, my phone dings with a text from my brother. I know I don’t have time to read it, but I can’t help myself.
“My little girl misses her cousins,” he writes, referring to my 3-year-old niece.
I smile when I see his words, quickly typing back that her cousins miss her too, so we must make plans soon. We live only 45 minutes from each other. But there’s something about time spent together away from our homes, which bonds a close family, even closer.
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post hosted by Kristi and co-hosted by Allie and Mardra, who came up with this week’s sentence: “My 2016 word of the year is…” I’ll be honest, I’m still not sure. But for this post, it’s most definitely family! Share your 2016 word below. Happy New Year!!
I got chills reading this. You are so lucky. My family never did that – there were too many mini-batlles amongst my parents and their sibling (and I only knew ONE grandparent). I get together with one cousin a few times a year, and he has children the same age as mine and it’s wonderful. But I have hopes that my kids will want to be together for an annual trip like this. And you know I LOVE the west coast! I need to know where you were =- specifically:)!
Thanks Allie! I hope your kids will do this too. You are already on the right track to getting it going with your annual road trips! 🙂 We used to go to Captiva, a place I know you love. But these days you can find us in Bonita Springs. Not quite as beautiful, but the convenience factor and proximity to Naples keeps us coming back.
You have a beautiful family and the photos show such love. Family would be a great word choice.
Thanks so much Lisa! I think family is definitely in my 2016 lexicon. I’m not sure I can settle on just one word. 🙂
You’re so right about time spent away with family is different – more bonding, somehow. This year, we went to Florida with my brother and his family and over the holiday break, when in Colorado, we went up to his cabin for two nights. There’s something magical that happens with the cousins in an intimate home-away-from home environment. It was so so great. I’m glad that your FL tradition didn’t go completely south and that you linked up your lovely words with Finish the Sentence! Happy 2016, my friend!
Thanks Kristi! You are so right that something magical does happen in homes-away-from-home. I’m so glad to learn that you and your brother are making similar memories with your families. Thanks for always hosting a fabulous FTSF. Here’s to many more words together in 2016! 🙂
Wow. What a close family. Your description of the sleeping arrangements sound like the two weeks my husband’s extended family spends at the beach every summer. (Well, the children spend two weeks with the grandparents most of the parents just make it for a week.) The blow-up mattresses, the shared meals. We have a large house so I can retreat to our room and shut the door — with a glass of wine and a good book. Even thought it’s a lot of togetherness, it’s been a tradition for almost 20 years and I wouldn’t ever want it to change. But of course if one day will. So glad that you are creating new traditions in the vein of the older ones.
That sounds like a wonderful arrangement you have, with time all together and then a week where the kids are with their grandparents making memories and you and your husband can get some time together. Change is hard, but when it happens, as you note that it inevitably will, I hope you can still keep your tradition going. So worth it! 🙂 Thanks reading and for your thoughtful comments.
Still can hear Poppa making the fresh OJ and pulling covers over my head to try and drown the noise they both would make Thank you for the beautiful memories
I can totally relate. We have the same tradition but over Passover at a hotel. We now number over 100 and are spread out over many states. it is my favorite week of the year!
That’s a great tradition; I’m so jealous! My family is so scattered over the US and Israel, and it’s hard for us to get together. We always enjoy each other’s company, but without the annual tradition of gathering it can be a long time between seeing each other and reconnecting.
So I think that “family” is a wonderful word for you, and congratulate you on having such a close knit family!!
Family! What a profound word choice! Close family ties are blessings in abundance; reading your beautiful tribute is a bonus blessing. Dayenu!
I love this example of extended family bonding! It’s so lovely the moments that make lifetime memories and keeping this up for your children. I hope 2016 brings more great family moments for you all!
This is so beautiful Mimi. Reading this was like taking a stroll on an early morning. It relaxed me as your words drew vivid images of your family’s love for another. It also created a longing in me quite honestly. I come from a gigantic family, too, but there are now so many health and relationship “issues” that unfortunately the get-togethers aren getting more difficult. But, even so, I do believe you’ve chosen the most important word of all! Nice work!
Julie, just seeing now that I didn’t get to reply to your thoughtful and lovely comment. My apologies! Thank you for taking the time to read, savor and enjoy. I’m sorry that it’s become difficult for your family in recent years, but I hope you all will find a way to make it happen. It sounds like it would be special for you. xo
So beautiful Mimi! I love the post, love you, your kids and our whole family. I love the Nonny and Poppa story a lot. I can still remember the excited feeling I would always get in my stomach when riding up their apartment elevator knowing all the cousins were already at Nonny and Poppa’s.
I find your family very inspiring!
Thanks so much Nina! We try. 🙂
AKAIK yov’ue got the answer in one!
My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on a variety of websites for about a year and am concerned about switching to another platform. I have heard excellent things about bltenngine.geo. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress posts into it? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Parabéns! A Equipe do Hospital Tia Dedé, excelente iniciativa, nossas mãezinhas precisam deste auxilio e cabe a nós colaboradores a multiplicar nossos conhecimentos.Tenho muito orgulho desta equipe da qual fiz parte, parabéns a todos vocês estão de parabéns!