The little town with the lake house sits sandwiched between the suburbs where we all live and a resort town in the state next door. We are invited up for the day with our kids. No husbands, please. Our hostess tells me it’s a celebration of sorts to mark the culmination of that period between school ending and camp beginning. I call this period “purgatory,” as I’m not sure whether to relish or lament the lack of schedule. It depends on the day, the hour, the minute. But this day we’ve had on the calendar for a while, and I’ve been looking forward to spending time with some of my oldest and dearest friends.
My guess is in high school, some people saw us as a clique. We ate lunch together. We congregated together in that intimidating, insecure way teenagers congregate. We always ended up together on the weekends, even if we started the night separately. We took photographs together with our dates before school dances. For graduation, we organized a big dinner with our families; then stayed up all night, driving around, going to a diner, not wanting that time in our life to end.
Back in the days of pep rallies and proms, our group was almost double in size. During college and the years beyond, we morphed into the posse we are today. Most of us now live with our families in the area where we grew up. A couple of us live out of town. I wish there were more of us. Five and a half years ago, we lost our friend. We remember her always and feel her presence when we gather. She loved laughter, and so we continue to laugh together, even amidst the tears.
During this little day-cation at the lake, we’re laughing as we exchange stories on talking to our children about sex. We leave those children with babysitters, and steal a few minutes away for some girl time in the boat. We’re not gone long, but somehow we manage to cover a lot of ground. The conversation meanders from our desire to have a dinner party together, to what it means to be turning 40 this year, to Botox. It’s the kind of talk that is in some ways frivolous, in other ways profound. Because even when the subject at hand may not be layered, our relationships are rooted in such deep history, it’s almost impossible for anything we discuss to have just one meaning.
Lifelong friendships don’t come easily. There’s disagreements, hurt feelings, misunderstandings along the way. Like a good marriage, they take work. But in the end, the dividends are invaluable. There’s something about friendship at 40 that feels like a big exhale. Everyone is more comfortable in her own skin, and that translates to group dynamics being more relaxed, more open, more honest. Unlike in high school, when we had cliques within our clique, we are now one unit. As we enter this murky middle phase of life, we don’t know what lies ahead. But we do know we can count on each other.
No one today could look at us and think that we’re a clique.
Cliques fade. Our bond is everlasting.
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This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. This week’s sentence is “When It Comes to Cliques…” Hosted by: Kristi Campbell, at http://www.findingninee.com; and co-hosted this week by: Jill from http://rippedjeansandbifocals.com/ and Michelle from http://crumpetsandbollocks.com/
Gorgeous as always, Mimi! I love that you’re still friends with your highschool posse and that you get together regularly. I also love that you took a daycation to a lake – that sounds lovely!! I’m so glad that you wrote this and linked up for Finish the Sentence!! xxoo
Thanks so much Kristi! Means so much coming from you. I’m so glad I linked up with FTSF too. Always love and appreciate your inspiration!
xoxo
nothing better than a group of women who’ve been friends for so long. No pretense, no pretending…just a bond that is rare, unique and a complete gift!
Thank you so much Mary Helen for your beautiful words. You are so right about this type of friendship being a “complete gift.” I’m so glad you are here reading and commenting. 🙂
Mimi, that’s so wonderful!! I admit that I’m not really in touch with my high school friends. We’ve all moved around so much, and have scattered to the four winds. It would be so nice to have a group like you have, like sisters. I’m glad you treasure and work hard at those life-long relationships. They will mean so much to you and your family over time. I’m sending smiles to you as I think of your day-cation with The Girls!
Thanks so much Anna! I appreciate your thoughtfulness. Love those smiles. Keep ’em coming. 🙂
What a wonderful and uplifting story. You ladies are so lucky to have each other.
Thanks so much Jill! That means a lot. I do feel fortunate to have this group of friends, and one of the nice things about this stage of life is I know everyone feels similarly. I guess there are some good things about growing older! 🙂
I LOVE this post so much! What a worthy celebration of friendship and it’s extra fun that I know most of the faces in that photo. I always admired your crew, which I got to see on the sidelines a bit as a close friend of Gwen’s.
Thanks Nina for all of this! You and Gwen also have such a wonderful group. I love hanging out with some of your peeps back here on the home front. 🙂 I hope we get to hang out too when you are in town next month!
Mimi, I have a posse, too. I don’t know what I would do with out them. I love that they know my history and all the players – I don’t have to explain anything. And if there’s any trouble, I have pictures from 30 years ago that I can use as blackmail!
Love Allie that you have a posse too! Just another reason it’s no wonder you and I connected so easily. Love the old photos as blackmail. I’ll keep that in mind. : ) Thanks for stopping by to read during your busy road trip! xo
William, Thanks for the screenshot — looks quite good. It’s a bizarre strategy on the part of the publishers, isn’t it? While their printed hardbacks for the most part are carefully crafted, prlosseifnaloy typeset, with attention to detail, their ebooks look worse than pulp paperbacks. And yet these days ebooks are rarely priced more than a dollar or so less than the hardback equivalent, despite easily making up that in lower printing / distribution expense.