Mimi Time

Using His Force

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My fourth child celebrated his fourth birthday last weekend. It’s the perfect year for this light saber wielding, Darth Vader fearing, Yoda loving child to be turning four. We’ve already watched all six episodes that comprise the current Star Wars series, and we’re counting down the days until The Force Awakens hits theaters. The theme for his party: “May B’s fourth be with you” was an obvious choice for this kid who loves everything that hails from a galaxy far, far away. Sometimes I wonder if Mr. B actually thinks “the force” is real.   We’ll be at breakfast, he’ll be bantering with his older siblings, and all of a sudden he’ll hold his hand up as if to halt them in their tracks. It’s a sight to behold, watching this preschooler try to stop a second grader with just his hand. I hate to dispel Mr. B’s notion that “the force” is real, especially since my own little dude possesses a force of his own.

***

“Mommy is it my turn?” Mr. B asks. He’s up on the exam table at the doctor’s office.  We’re doing his and Mr. C’s annual check-ups simultaneously this year.  The pediatrician and I are talking with C about how things are going with him. I’m doing my best to focus, but in the background Mr. B chatters away. “Mommy, why are there all these hoses?” He points to the various otoscopes hanging on the wall.  “Mommy, should I stay here? Can I come down?” Eventually, I gently ask him for quiet, so I can give his brother’s exam my undivided attention.  Having to shush a child for the sake of a sibling is not remarkable in its own right. But with Mr. B it is noteworthy. Just a couple years prior, he barely spoke.

At his two-year-check-up, our pediatrician told me he should have about 50 words. Mr. B’s vocabulary totaled less than 15 at the time. So began our journey in the world of early intervention services. Mr. B may be my fourth child, but as we started down this path, I felt like a first time mom all over again. Concepts like dyspraxia, motor planning, and sensory integration went from being foreign to familiar. I’ve always been one who tries to muddle through with laughter, and so I would joke with people: For my fourth child, I wanted a poodle in a Prada. You know, a little lap dog I could take with me everywhere and show off to the world. Instead, I got a Doberman in a duffle. He’s a lot of baggage, and he doesn’t travel easily. The chuckles I received helped deflect my own loneliness and pain with what I faced.

At one point, Mr. B received services four times a week. He went to individual sessions for speech and occupational therapy. Those therapists then visited him at school on different days. As his mother, I made my jokes to cope, but all the while I advocated for him. I regularly spoke with his teachers to make sure we were all on the same page with what he needed. At one point, I considered switching him to a school for children with special needs. I agonized over that decision, but in the end I was lucky that he could stay in his mainstream preschool. He ended up showing me that was the right choice for him.

Mr. B started off the year with a special blue cushion to sit on during circle time so that he would not lie down and lose focus. One day, his teacher told me at pick up: “Mr. B doesn’t want to use his blue seat anymore. And he promised us he would sit up on his own without it.” He’s kept that promise ever since, and eventually his progress eliminated the need for his occupational therapist to visit him at school.

Then I received this voicemail from his speech therapist: “I went to see B at school today. I took one look at him, and I had to leave. He was so involved and so in the mix with his friends, I couldn’t justify charging you for my time by staying there.” I saved that message. I admit, I like to replay it every now and again. After all, it’s been a long intense road on this path of early intervention. Kind of like the path to becoming a Jedi knight.

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This summer, Mr. B gets to take a break from his occupational therapy. He’s still a Padawan to be sure and will return to meeting with his therapist once a week in the fall. But this green light to go and enjoy the summer free of appointments is a hard earned milestone for my spunky four-year-old. He was also set to take a break from speech for the summer. He’s still working on certain sounds and word retrieval, but his speech therapist felt that a short hiatus could do him good. It seems counterintuitive, but I’ve learned that sometimes a brief interlude can actually help propel things forward.

Make plans, though, and Mr. B laughs. Guess what he went and did? Somehow, somewhere, he found the “Ca” sound. Up until now, whenever he says something like “Millennium Fal-Con,” it comes out like “Millennium Fal-Ton.” But lo and behold, he turns four, and he starts uttering that hard consonant. So we’ll keep the speech therapy going this summer. In the past, it stemmed from his lack of development. Now we’re forging ahead because of what he can do.

He’s using his force. May it always be with him.

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This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post, where writers and bloggers gather to complete the same sentence and share our variations on it with one another. This week’s sentence is “This summer…”

Your hosts: Kristi Campbell, at (http://www.findingninee.com)
Lisa Listwa (http://www.themeaningofme.com/)
Reta Jayne Pearson (http://calculatedchaos.net/)
and Allison McGrath Smith (http://thelatchkeymom.com/)

mimisig

Comments

  1. Wow Mimi – I love that our posts are so similar and YAY for Mr. B and the “Ca” sound! You know what’s funny? Tucker’s speech therapist wasn’t even working on his “L” sound because she said there were too many other sounds he needed to make first. He’s in Tae Kwon Do now though and to get a white belt, you have to count to 10 in Korean. His TKD master got him to say “L!” Love it when something pops up like that!

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Kristi! I know you understand how sweet those unexpected sounds can be. Go Tucker with his “L!” That’s a tough one! I could see Tae Kwon Do being in B’s future. : )

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  2. I loved getting to know your youngest through this beautiful post Mimi! He sounds like a very special guy, just like his mom.
    Kids are amazing, aren’t they? As the mom of a son with dysgraphia and ADHD (who is also a Star Wars fan!), I completely relate to the special services, tracking progress and most especially that feeling of absolute joy when they succeed – our joy and theirs!
    “As his mother, I made my jokes to cope, but all the while I advocated for him.” So love this line and recognize myself in it. Wishing your littlest Jedi happy birthday and continued success!

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Nicki! Those successes are the best! I think us moms appreciate them almost more than the little ones. Appreciate your thoughtfulness and support on this as always.

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  3. Mimi, thank you for sharing this story. I can relate to agonizing decisions we have to make for our kids. That one you had to make about the school was a huge one. I have a brother and a sister who both had to make that choice for a child as well. So many beautiful layers in this story and the pictures are priceless. Have a great day.

    Reply

    • Thanks Julie Jo! The school was an agonizing one, but in the end, I’m so grateful he stayed put and so thankful he ended up having a wonderful, blossoming year. Appreciate your reading and support.

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  4. What struck me from the post, besides how different each of our kids come out into the world (they are who they are, no?), is how my son is NOT into Star Wars at all. So many kids are, plus adults, that I’m wondering what wasn’t wired correctly in him! 🙂 Congrats on all the progress you and your 4th have made.

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    • Thanks so much Katy! My oldest child also was not that into Star Wars, and he went to a camp where his nickname was Yoda!! Go figure! But now all my kids are loving it in anticipation of the next installment! I bet your son will want to see it when it comes out. Keep posted! Thanks for the well wishes. : )

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  5. This is awesome! I love reading about how hard work and early intervention pay off with kids; it’s rewarding of all of the efforts you’ve described with your little one. Clearly, your child will continue to make progress. As he learns that he can improve his speech and motor, I hope and believe that he will discover the fact that he can overcome challenges that are set for him. His rate of progress will increase.

    But he’ll always have a special place in his heart for Star Wars!!

    Sending congrats and hugs for y’all this summer.

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Anna! I appreciate what you said about overcoming other challenges. Sometimes I think it’s the people who have to overcome the most who often find the most success because they learn early on how to work hard. I hope you are right and my littlest guy continues with his progress. Appreciate your reading, support and encouragement!!

      Reply

  6. Mimi, I am so happy that Mr. B can take the summer off. That’s huge! That means his therapists doesn’t think there will be regression (we never got such a break). And We’ve been introducing the kids to Star Wars, as well. But only the originals. I think I was too old with 1-3 came out, I never got into them. Can wait to see part 7! I really hope I get to see you when I’m in Chicago.

    Reply

    • Allie, I’m so glad we got to see each other when you were here! What a thrill and the highlight of my day! I hope you guys had an awesome time in Minneapolis! I was also too old when 1-3 came out, but it was so much fun to watch them with my kids. I highly recommend it if you find yourself with a rainy day this summer. Thanks for your support and encouragement regarding Mr. B. Enjoy the rest of your travels. xo

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    • Thanks so much Kelly! That speepch therapist is amazing, and before her, my son saw her boss who is the founder of the whole practice. She is the one responsible for taking my son from barely verbal to fully talking. I am forever indebted to her and to his current speech therapist, the one who left me the voicemail. She gave him the gift of social interaction, the next step after verbal communication that has brought him to where he is today. Appreciate your kind words and your being here with me Kelly.

      Reply

  9. So many great victories in here. And May B’s fourth be with you? Awesome!
    I think everyone – maybe kids especially – have a force within them. Looks like your Mr. B. has quite a bit of his own. As for it being real? Well, just like anything else, that force is as real as he wants it to be. May it always be with him!

    Reply

    • Thanks so much Lisa! I agree. Everyone has a force within them. It’s just been quite a ride watching Mr. B’s emerge. There was a time when I wasn’t quite sure which direction we were headed. While there is still much work to be done, I am so very grateful that he’s now using his force in this way. Appreciate your support!

      Reply

  11. The courage it took to write and share this poignant piece must come from the same strength within you that has enabled your son’s growth and progress. It has been my privilege to watch and share this force for facing challenges and overcoming obstacles. May you and Mr. B continue to go from strength to strength!

    Reply

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